jarred

clatterBONK.

Bike flies out in front of me, booty hits the ground.

Realize I'm sitting on the cold and wet sidewalk. hhhhmmmmmaaahhh take a deep breath.

Oh hey pride, nice to see you sitting right here next to me on the ground.

Body and bike and enthusiasm, all a bit jarred.

Speaking of jars, I would really like to jar up some gelato, some of these good ol' feelings that have been going on, and some particular laughs so that I can put them on a shelf and visit every so often. BUT you people (CHELSEA KAY) will not be contained in jars! Or put on shelves! You're in my heart and around me always!

We ate lunch sitting on wooden benches around a wooden table. A basket of fresh cut bread sat in the middle of the table and flies buzzed around every now and again. The (mostly eggplant) buffet was rich in oil and salt. Outside were couples and men enjoying a slow lunch or cigarette. I wouldn't go back, but I'd do it again.

The approach of the holidays always has this funny effect on me. It's deeper and bigger and richer and more real with every year. I think it's because with each year my heart finds new places to be pulled when away. What could God possibly feel and think and know on a daily basis? I want to fly south and hold Hidaya against my chest. I want to talk with her, laugh with her, make faces at her. I want her to know that she is loved by ME. And God's love is a bajillion times the meager amount I have in my heart. OH THAT'S WHY HE SENT JESUS BECAUSE HE COULDN'T KEEP AWAY. "Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to thee oh Israel." !!! I'm getting it...little by little.

thoughts make moments too

The weather has been the same as El Segundo up until a week ago, maybe. It's getting colder and colder. I'm getting colder and colder. I don't have a lot of clothes with me. I packed with the intention of buying warm clothes here. I can't do it. Lindsay and I went to H&M yesterday afternoon and I was looking for pants. I have one pair of jeans that I'm wearing on a daily basis and riding the bike is wearing them down, so new leg coverings are completely practical. I told Lindsay I was in a funk while we were browsing and she responded with something about shopping therapy. I wished!! The store was left empty handed and my jeans crotch has a few more busted threads.

The funk has continued. I think that's fair because I'm thinking this:  Angwin-Grizzly Flats-El Segundo-Usa River-El Segundo-Grizzly Flats-El Segundo-Palermo. School-camp-home-AFRICAvolunteeringlearningliving-homeforasec-camp-home-Italywhat. Questions-questions-doubts-tears-laughs-answers?-questions-questions-questions.... I don't know what my normal life is. I know how to settle into a normal routine in a temporary situation. Perhaps the important thing is knowing my heart and my steadfast God with his steadfast love and steadfast approach to this world and people that change but never really change all that much.

a canadian, brit, and american walked into a gelateria....

Ohh GELATO. What can I do with you? I like you best in pistacchio and sette tentazioni. But sometimes I feel the need to be different. Never straying from something chocolately. Oh no no no. Mr. Scooper-of-my-first-but-not-last-cone-of-the-day, thank you for being so patient with me as I tried with all of my tastebuds to imagine anything but my favorites lingering in my boca this afternoon. You did throw your hands up in the air just a little bit when I said I was still deciding but then we laughed together as I tried to balance my cone and my wallet. Thanks for zipping up the pocket for my coins and sharing mouth smiles and eye smiles and creamery goodness with me.

toilet yodeling.

Maybe a month ago I taught Silvia the famous yodeling ostrich song. What a hit! Tonight while she was sitting on the pot she decided that would be her activity of choice (sometimes it's dolls other times it's coloring). This was too good to let pass without being a part of so I took the clothes I was folding with me into the bathroom. We sang together. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHH an ostrich went yodeling on a mountain so high HEY when along came a Silvia interrupting his cry. YOOOOODEEELAAAAY yodelahkeekee yodelahkookoo kookoo PLOP." ....

I was pleased to find out that when a Danielle came interrupting his cry she did it by holding her belly and laughing. I like it here!

gettin' out.

Today makes me smile. I'm so sleeeeepy right now. Things don't happen unless you get out there and...oh what's that thing I read the other day. "When you do what you always do, you get what you always get." Michael Yaconelli quoted it in his book Dangerous Wonder. So, today I got out there and got pooped on and honked at. I shared lots of laughs with these PEOPLE that I get to share moments with. I watched in what seemed like slow motion as hot espresso and the ceramic cup that was holding to it sprayed and crashed to the ground thanks to physical story telling by yours truly. But still! New things!

And this: experiencing a child (or anyone!) learn is EXCITING.

Silvia sat on her bed this morning while I brushed her hair. We weren't carrying on a very specific conversation when she asked me, "Do you remember when it was 7:28?" She sighed dreamily and I smiled. She was talking about last week, when we were awake early enough on a SCHOOL day to be able to play time games at the breakfast table. Oh if we could only have 7:28 every morning... :)

While locking up my bike this afternoon I was called stupida. With good reason. I still feel kinda silly.